


i’ll fake god if it made you look at me

by spectacularorange



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, This is kinda a vent, i don’t know i just wanted to write them, just a lot of self doubt, kanata centric, kanata is definitely ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24470803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spectacularorange/pseuds/spectacularorange
Summary: kanata would do anything for chiaki even keep being a fake god
Relationships: Morisawa Chiaki/Shinkai Kanata
Kudos: 24





	i’ll fake god if it made you look at me

**Author's Note:**

> based off oh ana by mother mother and honestly such an angsty chiakana song i love it 
> 
> this basically me putting my feelings down so it’s pretty messy but i also was missing chiakana so

god, that word was pulled through kanata’s ears ever since he was born. sewn together like nerves in a brain, every action, thought, revolved around that word. the only thing surrounding kanata now was a bittersweet taste of salt, gentle foam of harsh waves, and the welcoming grasp of water. 

god, was he ever such a thing? was kanata made of porcelain like any other human? could kanata be a god?

the stars twinkle on the salty water, deformed by gentle waves and kanata moving. here, the stars were touching the water, as if kanata could touch the stars too. kanata wanted to touch the stars, to be as close as he could, but he could only do that if he was a god. 

but the stars and the sea don’t belong together, kanata always told himself. why did the stars always seem so close then? why were they there if we can’t touch them? if kanata couldn’t touch the stars, why would he touch chiaki?

would chiaki love kanata if he was a god? could kanata actually reach him? chiaki already understood kanata perfectly, even before kanata knew chiaki was a star. why were the stars so far away? why? why? 

a uncomfortable comfort filled kanata lungs as he stepped even deeper into his unforgiving home. if he was a god, why did it hurt to return to his own home? why? why? bittersweet played at kanata’s heart as he stared into the abyss, stars twinkling down into his world.

chiaki, his name always played in kanata’s head. chiaki. chiaki. chiaki. would chiaki love kanata if he could prove that he’s a god? 

kanata would try anything for that, even step into this uncomfortable comfort. even if it killed him, even if it didn’t prove him as a god, he would do it. 

harsh cold air hit kanata as he was suddenly brought into the dreadful world of the stars. the bittersweet leaving his lungs and skin. suffocating, all the stars did was suffocate kanata, but this is where chiaki was. 

bittersweet filling his lungs or suffocating stars, kanata would have any if it meant seeing chiaki. if it meant he loved kanata. even if he faked god, lied to chiaki, lied to himself, lied to the sea, to the stars. 

chiaki would save him


End file.
